Adult Healing

Summary of Needs for Optimal Development
Support a healthy cry that ends in a shiver/tremble, double breath.
Engage in the 9 types of play. Co-operative Play, Non Directive Child Led and Power-Reversal being important.
Attachment Needs: Safety, Attunement, Boundaries and guidance, A Balance of Attention and Delight, Supportive Exploration and Development of Mastery, Age Appropriate Tasks. Shared Experience and Belonging, Unconditional Love.
A regular feeling of agency, power and control.
3 Key Attachment figures: A Parent, A Friend, A Mentor at school or work. The Parent would be replaced with a partner when you grow.
Steps Needed for Healing in Children and Adults
Heal your emotional release, understand which emotions are hard to process, create time for the emotional release of all positive and negative emotions e.g. exercise to release vs an emotional/cry/laughing release. This will help create more positive chemicals in the brain and have the brain in a place of healing. Use cold water as a natural anti-depressant and to physio the 'parasympathetic' shiver function, start to feel comfortable shivering and feeling discomfort.
If needed restoring your 'healing cry'. Once your cry has a sob/shiver/tremble/double breathe when you cry with someone you will know you are on the right track.
Have a listening partner where you meet regularly and empathically listen to each other and allowing a space to cry. This also helps practice empathic listening. For children, create a space for children to cry regularly. Often most effective at the end of the day.
Once emotion is out, heal the brain networks and improve coherence of mind;
Heal your child's attachment 'internal working model' via play (make a game for every parent-child challenge/rupture) or your own via IAT mentalisations.
Heal concentration via engaging in Non Directive Child lead play, activities that get you into the flow state, collaborative passion projects, meditations or neurofeedback.
Find your passion. Build a social group around it and up skill play/social engagement skills via understanding of the 9 types of play and how they adapt from child to adulthood. Find hobbies and interest that help with emotional release e.g. exercise, swimming, gardening, music, art etc. Find your tribe within your interests.
Improve meta-cognitive awareness via mindfulness & meditations and other spiritual practices and/or Occupational Therapy.
Look at their ones developmental profile and see which areas are over or under developed. Find ways to increase areas that are under developed and understand possible impacts of overdeveloped areas. Occupational Therapy could be needed for some areas.
Know how to release future life stressors and traumas via connection and play with loved ones.
Find a purpose that leads towards a greater good to heal your Self-Esteem. If inclined, cultivate a faith and cultural traditions that helps feel part of something bigger.
In the event of a single trauma or life stress
This is an example and should always be child/individually led.
1
Reset & Connect
Use the water and sensory stimulation to reset the nervous system and get the brain waves into the healing part.
Have a peer, parent or sibling that is trusted and is the connection.
2
Play
Use the connecting play types to connect then the 5 transformative play to play out/transform the memory.
For older children being bullied this could be a day out with the parent having power reversal play at somewhere like this:
Smash Splash
Smash Splash
Melbourne and Sydney Smash, Splash and Crash rooms.  Break stuff in our Smash room 18+ with two people in the room at the one time! Splash and Crash rooms 5+. Release Stress discover balance.
3
Cry
A similar trigger or broken cookie will trigger a release of tears. If there is repeated trauma/re-traumatisation, playing out again and again might not work. Sometimes a child would just need to cry and cry and cry until all the emotions comes out.
4
Integrate
Talk about the experience and integrate it into who you are. Using 'How to talk to kids' book and having time in the routine for nightly play or chats.
Adult Play Ideas
What would you do for 15mins if you could do anything you enjoy? 
These are some ideas if you are in a funk and want to find some hobbies but not sure where to start.
Next Section - Healing Over The Ages