90% of development happens in the first 4-5 years of life. At different ages, key pathways develop.

Development Happens in Parallel and Through Key Windows

The brain operates through interconnected networks. Each network supports different functions, but no network works alone.

Posner and Petersen distinguish three interacting attention systems. These describe what attention is doing rather than forming another list of large-scale resting-state networks.

Play combines sensory information, movement, attention, emotion, relationship, memory and decision-making. Different forms of play draw on different parts of the brain while the networks continue working together.

The default mode network is active during rest and internally focused thought. It helps create our sense of self by bringing together:

The DMN also maintains mental representations central to our attachment internal working models: our expectations about ourselves, who we can approach for care, how they will respond and whether their response will help.

Altered DMN activity and connectivity have been identified in PTSD, depression, schizophrenia, autism, ADHD and Alzheimer's disease. In PTSD, disrupted coordination between the default mode, salience and central executive networks is associated with changes in self-referential processing, arousal and executive functioning.

Development of the DMN is thought to happen over the first 5 years of life.

Through repeated interactions with caregivers, children develop an internal working model of themselves, other people and relationships.

It contains expectations such as:

These expectations guide how a child interprets relationships, seeks comfort, responds to separation and manages closeness.

Internal working models are not fixed. Responsive relationships, repair after disconnection and repeated experiences of being seen, understood and supported can continue to reshape them.

The default mode network helps maintain these internal representations by connecting autobiographical memory, beliefs about the self, expectations of others and social understanding.

The insula integrates signals from inside the body with emotion, attention and conscious experience. It helps us recognise what is happening within ourselves and determine what needs our attention.

Its functions include:

The anterior insula is a key hub of the salience network. It identifies important internal and external information and helps switch activity between the default mode network and central executive network.

Atypical insular activation and connectivity have been identified in autism. Research has also found insular differences across schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, depression, addiction, obsessive-compulsive disorder and anxiety. Goodkind and colleagues found convergent grey-matter loss in the bilateral dorsal anterior insula across these diagnostic groups, suggesting that insular disruption may be a shared feature across different conditions.

References: Goodkind et al. (2015); Namkung et al. (2017); Nomi et al. (2019), Insular function in autism.

Note: Its more than the vagus nerve. Its the central channel of nerves that go from the brain to genitalia that cause a shiver. Its a similar shiver to a sexual climax that releases positive chemicals, its like a prolonged pee shiver if you go into a full trauma release shiver, the vibration to a good belly laugh. Some people might have to get their body to go into that full trauma release shiver to release their unresolved traumas via similar triggers.

Kelly Mahler has lots of courses on interception and Occupational Therapy integration concepts.

Buddhist Tummo and Ice Baths are good ways to physio this system of nerves as its the same system that releases trauma, it does temperature management. Learn to be comfortable shivering support learning to relax during strong emotions.

Fascia is a thin layer of connective tissue that encloses each organ, nerve fiber, muscle, blood vessel and bone in its proper position. In addition to providing internal structure, fascia has nerves that give it almost the same sensitivity as skin. It tends to tighten up when stressed. As per the Watson Headache technique theory, when nerves have tissue tightening around them they become more sensitive and aggravated.

This is why pain can hurt more, tissues tensing pulling on the cut or tensing up hurting more. When in overload all these tissues tighten up impacting already sensitive nerves making senses stronger. In getting all these muscles to relax, sensory experiences can become a little less intense.

An autistic person (https://www.reddit.com/r/AspiesJourney/) has created a guide for reducing body tightness and pain via fascia stretching work you can do yourself at home. https://drive.proton.me/urls/B2MJ1M6NK0#1Eqt0tfQQN7u

The divers reflex is a physiological response to cold water submersion, involving the vagus nerve slowing the heart rate and redirecting blood flow. This reflex helps conserve oxygen and maintain blood pressure, a survival mechanism observed in many mammals.

The vagus nerve also plays a role in the fight/flight/freeze response, and its activation via cold therapy can bring someone out of a traumatized state. The resulting release of chemicals like dopamine and endorphins release acts as a natural antidepressant. A short healing window occurs as it appears to put ones brain waves into the healing part.

Ice is not needed: Adults only need 21C and babies have a more sensitive reflex. Whilst the divers reflex is activated by the face, shivering is more important for stress release, its more about putting your body into temperature regulation mode vs stress/trauma mode. The face does not have to go in water, running in and out of the sea, playing in an outdoor paddling pool are all adequate for children.

Activating the shiver, creates a window of healing to allow healing of this natural release, before emotional overload returns. Over time as a child's starts to release more emotion, it will start to take longer and longer before overload returns. A school term longer than 8 weeks often puts most children into an overloaded state and ruptures with peers start.

This article covers the different chemicals from the stress of cold from full body immersion vs the face and triggering the divers reflex response.

Identified by Elaine Aron, 15-20% of the population are thought to fit this profile. Similar to the Dandelion and Orchid by W. Thomas Boyce; Some children need supportive, nurturing environment to thrive.

Key traits include:

Sensitivity isn't the same for everyone, some people can be extremely 'hyper' sensitive. Nervous system inflammation can impact sensitivity too, deep muscles/fascia will tense over the nerves making them more sensitive. Profiles can fluctuate.

Aletha Solter has strong views on the word regulation and there is mixed advice within the psych industry. In teaching my child to "bring their emotions back in to balance" I've learnt:

When childrens emotions have built up, the smallest trigger can unleash a torrent of tears. A broken cookie, a lost toy - these seemingly trivial incidents become the pretext for a full-blown crying fit.

Loving limits should be used when childrens behavior is demonstrating there is a deep need to release built up emotions. Set the limit and hold their response in your love and acceptance and let any big feelings come out, knowing there is a deeper meaning to this release of emotion.

Explore with what words might work for your family. A popular one is "I am not willing for …".

Children have a natural cycle that evolves from baby to adult.

This could be used as a nightly routine or a single game could be used to address one problematic area like brushing teeth and good for PDA profiles.

Crying and Play go together to make up our bodies natural stress and trauma release.

The same function of play, laughter and crying is also how the body releases minor stressors and major traumas.

Stress and trauma can interfere with the learning process by causing confusion, anxiety, grief, anger, and difficulty concentrating.

Children will heal from trauma naturally if they;

Trauma is anything that causes physical or emotional pain or that threatens a child’s well being. Traumas can be minor events, such as the loss of a toy or a bee sting, or major life-changing events such as the death of a parent or a terrorist attack, traumas are shocks to a child's sensory input.

Anything that the a child interprets as threatening can be traumatic, even when it does not pose a real danger. Trauma impacts children differently to adults.

Children need both safety and connection to process and heal from trauma effectively.

Feeling safe and connected during a frightening event can prevent both hyperarousal and dissociation as well as the development of post-traumatic symptoms.

Studies have show neurotypical and neurodivergent people play differently, with the below themes identified in neurodivergent children.

If play is how we all release our stress and trauma together yet different neuro-types play differently together, how do we better understand that and support each other through play?

Understanding Neurodiverse Social Play Between Autistic and Non-Autistic Children | Proceedings of the 2024 CHI Conference on Human Factors in Computing Systems

When children do Occupational Therapy they will play with rice, shaving foam, run around a room, swing, climb in and out of stretchies, rolling around etc. It is a form of Non Directive Child Led Play, Collaborative and Body Contact. All play can be sensory integrating, so it is an important awareness for children that might need support with sensory integration.

Children have a natural cycle that evolves from baby to adult.

As we grow into adults the release just evolves. Play become work, the nightly cry becomes a chat to release the stressors of the day.

This could be used as a nightly routine or a single game could be used to address one problematic area like brushing teeth and good for PDA profiles.

None of the nine play types disappear — they transform. Each one has a healthy adult form, and a pathology of absence when lost.

Studies have show neurotypical and neurodivergent people play differently, with the below themes identified in neurodivergent children.

If play is how we all release our stress and trauma together yet different neuro-types play differently together, how do we better understand that and support each other through play?

Understanding Neurodiverse Social Play Between Autistic and Non-Autistic Children | Proceedings of the 2024 CHI Conference on Human Factors in Computing Systems

When children do Occupational Therapy they will play with rice, shaving foam, run around a room, swing, climb in and out of stretchies, rolling around etc. It is a form of Non Directive Child Led Play, Collaborative and Body Contact. All play can be sensory integrating, so it is an important awareness for children that might need support with sensory integration.

This could be used as a nightly routine or a single game could be used to address one problematic area like brushing teeth and good for PDA profiles.

None of the nine play types disappear — they transform. Each one has a healthy adult form, and a pathology of absence when lost.

Relational (Attachment) repair is restoring the child's map of relational behaviors and responses via;

Dr Brown's 3 pillars can be adapted for children:

We should strive to be aware of the ways in which own childhood interferes with our ability to be effective parents and make conscious efforts to avoid passing on our own hurts to children.

If children are in overload, or unregulated they struggle to learn. Using visual aids like a mini white board to draw game ideas out and agree the game and rules together at the start can be an effective way to teach play concepts.

Create a game based on the child's special interests where the parent defines all the rules. This gradually restores power, control, and co-creation dynamics through play. Example theme: Dinosaurs.

Skipping layers is the most common reason repairs feel hollow even when the words sound right.

When a parent repairs with a child, the child learns something that will shape every relationship they ever have: adults make mistakes, adults acknowledge them, and connection survives. Children whose parents actively repaired showed significantly more secure attachment outcomes than those whose parents simply tried to avoid rupture. (Brown & Elliott)

Animals give children a safe, playful way to connect with difficult inner parts. Just as astrology uses animals to describe human traits, we can use animal characters in play to help children act out, process, and integrate emotions they cannot yet name.

There might be times when releasing of emotions isn't appropriate. e.g. on an airplane or class. In those moment a breathing game can help. If doing this, expect the calming to be only temporary and the emotions to come out at a later time.

To teach the concepts, play this co-operative game when a child is happy. Add elements of power-reversal and non-sense and have the child blow you over or the animal impression being so scary and powerful that you run and hide! When utilizing in moments of distress, ask the child to pick their own animal breath to match their emotion. Lion for angry, Bunny or Bee for hyper and silly, Bear for sad. etc

Developmentally appropriate for 4 years old upwards.